Christmas Joys

Funny Christmas Songs For Children - Groove King Senseless
By Troy Johns

Ho, ho, ho! It’s that time of year again folks, and as we count down the days to Christmas, now is a great time to learn some funny Christmas songs. After all, ’tis the season to be jolly! Stretch your vocal chords, or stretch your fingers on the piano, and have the whole family laughing with these new, funny Christmas songs for children.

Doth Thou Know’st Ye Olde Lyrics?

The traditional carols have such beautiful melodies, but sometimes the lyrics to Christmas songs are hard to understand. After a “hither”, a “thou know’st”, and a “good league”, most adults start to lose the plot, so imagine how difficult it must be for children! To make the traditional Christmas songs more relevant for today’s kids, I decided it was time to write some new song lyrics.

So I set to work and wrote a collection of funny Christmas songs for children that preserves the original melodies of our favorite Christmas carols, but breathes completely new life into them. They’re Christmas songs like you’ve never heard them before! They’re wierd, wacky, and warped, but all in good fun! Here’s a sample:

Groove King Senseless

(To the tune of Good King Wenceslas)

Groove King senseless last looked out

On his fans all screaming.

Drove into a round-about,

Deep in his day dreaming.

Brightly shone the police light,

Though his fate was cruel.

When he stumbled out of sight,

Up went all the fu-u-el!

Turn the page and you will see

Why the news is selling

Vonda Shepherd, who is she?

What’s with all the yelling?

Says she jumped a giant fence

From a nearby mountain

For his love - it makes no sense

But she hit the fountain!

Bring me flesh, and bring me bones

Please don’t take forever.

How can I answer the phones?

‘Til she’s back together.

Here’s a left and there’s a right

Fixed with lots of good glue

Poor Groove King got such a fright

Do you think he’ll sue?

Funny Christmas songs are a great way to get everyone singing along and having a great time. The traditional Christmas carols have simple, yet powerful melodies that are so familiar to us all. But after hearing the same cryptic lyrics year after year, it’s no wonder some kids (and adults!) get bored with tradition. So why not try something new this year?

After all, holidays are a time for love and laughter, and what better way to bring families together than by sharing a joke in a Christmas song! Why not even have a go at writing your own funny words? The whole family could have a competition to see who can write the funniest lyrics. Surprise your friends and family this Christmas with some outrageous, warped, and funny Christmas songs!

Put a smile on your ‘dial’, with some funny Christmas songs that are sure to brighten up your holidays! For a chuckle, check out this cheeky site: Funny Christmas Songs For Children. Here you’ll find some great reviews of hilarious Christmas albums and MP3s available for download, plus more wacky lyrics. Start singing super silly seasonal songs so Santa won’t be the only jolly one this year!

For a funny musical interpretation of Good King Wenceslas, listen to “Groove King Wenceslas” on Audiojungle. This jazzy tune is available for download in MP3 format. Plus it’s royalty free so you can use it in any of your own projects. Explore the huge collection of Christmas tunes and themes at Audiojungle.

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How to Have the Best Christmas Yard Decorations Ever!
By Luanne Rush

One of our most favourite family traditions at Christmas is to take a driving tour of the neighbourhood to enjoy everyone’s Christmas yard decorations. Some people put up a few, some people go all out, but whichever way they go, they are all fun to see.

If you are planning to do some decorating this year you will be amazed at what’s out there! The one really cool thing about Christmas yard decorations is the wide variety and selection available, and this seems to just keep increasing every year. There is also something available in almost every price range too! Before venturing out to shop for your outside Christmas decorations, it’s a good idea to plan a decorating scheme so you know exactly what you want. Here are a few tips to help you decide what sort of decorating you should do.

The first thing to consider is the area that you want to decorate. If you are doing this for the first time it is wise to pick a small area of yard to decorate. The one thing you can always do is expand your collection. Once you know where you want to place your outdoor decorations, the next thing to consider is access to electricity. If there is no way to plug your lawn ornaments in, you may have to go with unlighted Christmas lawn ornaments. These might include painted wooden figurines such as carollers, Santa or a nativity scene. If you enjoy a more natural look, you may want to consider a grapevine reindeer decorated with red bows and evergreen boughs.

A Christmas tree can be quite impressive without lights when adorned with oversized weather proof ornaments and garlands. These unlit decorations will of course be most effective during the day since they are not lighted. Consider placing them close to the house where they may still be somewhat lighted by an outdoor lamp.

If you do have access to an electrical outlet, then your decorating options will be greatly increased. Now the whole wide selection of lighted Christmas yard decorations is available to you. If you want to go very simple, a lighted tree is a great option. A simple decorated tree could be the starting point of your decorating plan and you could expand from there each year.

Another very popular choice in outside Christmas decorations are the brightly colored balloon type decorations that look like large inflatables. These yard ornaments are kept upright by a fan that runs constantly whenever they are plugged in. Once the fan is turned off, however, they deflate. These inflatable decorations are generally quite large so be sure that you have enough space for one before you invest. They are a very popular choice for families with young children as their bright colors, animation and cute characters are quite appealing to the younger set.

If you are looking for more classical Christmas lighted outdoor decorations, you may prefer the stylish lighted wire frame structures that are available. These consist of a white wire frame adorned with many white lights that define their shape. They are available in a variety of designs and sizes ranging from large life size reindeer to small trees and angels.

Whichever type of Christmas yard decorations you choose, you are sure to spread some extra holiday cheer to those who pass by your yard day or night.

You won’t be able to keep the crowds away once they see your fantastic display of Christmas yard decorations. You can find all your great outdoor xmas decorations right here.

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German Christmas Traditions
By Bobbie Floerchinger

Many of the Christmas traditions that are today celebrated in countries around the world began in German-speaking countries.

Advent Calendars (Adventskalendars)

Advent is the 24-day period that anticipates the celebration of the birth of Christ. In the 1800s, German Lutherans would count down the days until Christmas by marking each day with a chalk line on the door. Some lit a new candle for each day of Advent, and others hung little religious pictures on the wall.

The first known Advent Calendar was handmade in 1851, and the first commercially printed calendar was produced in 1908. The Advent Calendar was at first a simple card with a paper backing, with 24 windows on the face that revealed different Bible verses and Christmas scenes and symbols when opened. A window was opened each day over the 24-day period leading up to Christmas Eve (”Heiligabend”). Other Adventskalendars were fashioned from sheets of cloth with pockets that were filled with candy or small gifts.

Most Advent Calendars today are made for children and reveal pieces of chocolate behind their windows. As in the past, some windows include a poem, picture, prayer or part of a story. While most Advent Calendars are shaped like cards, some are three-dimensional models and are made to look like buildings or figures.

Nutcrackers (Nussknackers)

Nutcrackers as we know them today originated in the Erzgebirge area of Germany around the 16th century. Over the years, they became popular children’s toys and collectible items.

People also traditionally gave Nutcrackers as keepsakes to bring good luck to friends and family and protect their homes from evil spirits and danger.

The Nutcracker became a part of popular culture beginning with the novel “The Nutcracker and the King of Mice” (”Nussknacker und Mausekönig”), which told the fairy tale of a prince Nutcracker who comes to life. The novel was the basis for the composer Peter Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker Suite,” a ballet which is often performed around the Christmas. The popularity of the ballet is also attributed to the popularity of the toy soldier Nutcracker, probably the most recognizable Nutcracker figure around the world.

German Smoking Men (Räuchermänner)

During the early to mid-1600s, it was commonly believed that evil spirits came out on “Die Rauhnächte, or “Raunacht” (the longest night of the year), close to the Christmas holidays. Noise and light was said to drive away these evil spirits and protect the people inside the home. One tradition that developed as a part of this, and as an extension of Christian religious practices, was the burning of incense to bless German homes. At first, incense was simply burned on a tin plate, but as the tradition developed, people thought of more inventive ways to offer their blessing.

The “Smoking Man” became a decorative and common way to burn incense. Hollowed-out figurines were created that came apart at the middle and held a tin plate inside to hold incense. When the incense was lit and placed on the plate, smoke would curl out of a hole carved in the mouth to resemble a man smoking a pipe.

The first Smoking Men were carved to resemble people who could be found around any local village, such as bakers and other tradespeople. As the figures evolved, they were limited only to the creators’ imaginations, and today can be found in many styles and variations, especially Christmas themes such as Santa Claus and snowmen.

Christmas Trees

The Christmas Tree, or “Weinachtsbaum,” is a popular tradition that began in Europe but is now found in countries around the world.

In the 7th century, a monk traveled around Germany and nearby countries converting people to Christianity. According to legend, like St. Patrick did with the shamrock, the monk used the fir tree’s triangular shape to teach the people about the Holy Trinity. The fir tree (”Tannenbaum”) became a symbol of Christianity and was decorated and hung upside down from ceilings at Christmas in central European countries to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Christmas markets established in many German towns provided gingerbread cookies and wax ornaments for people to hang on their Christmas Trees. The angel or star that is often placed atop the tree represents the angels that appeared in the sky on Christmas or the Star of Bethlehem that guided Mary and Joseph to their destination. However you choose to decorate your tree, you can find lovely ornaments and more information on Smoking Men, Nutcrackers and many other traditional German Christmas decorations and accessories at http://www.mydirndl.com.

Ms.Floerchinger is the manager at MyDirndl.com, LLC in the United States. As an American with German heritage she has appreciated learning more about her own history and enjoys sharing it with others. The website can be found at: http://www.MyDirndl.Com

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Spice Up Your Christmas Decors With Sync Lights and Music
By Suzie Sanchez

You have undoubtedly seen fireworks lighting up the sky in sync with lively background music. But have you seen Christmas decorative lights also dance in sync with different Christmas tunes? It is in fact a growing favorite among hobbyists who find joy in spicing up their Christmas decors a little bit with synchronized lighting systems. You will see lights of different colors dancing in unison to the tune of your favorite Christmas song and the best part is that you are given the capability to direct which groups of light will blink, fade, shimmer, or sparkle.

These synchronized music and lighting display systems also gives you the capability to control what color of lights will come up during a particular part in the tune, giving it a dramatic and magical effect. For instance, it is possible to have only the green or blue lights show up and to fade in and out slowly while the music is in the beginning stages. This particular effect is achieved using special software developed especially for this purpose. You could also select a variety of effects like shimmer, sparkle, blink, fade, cross-fade, and a whole lot more. You can even make it so like other set of lights are shimmering while other sets are blinking, all in synchronized movement with the background music.

It is actually not very clear who started out with the idea of synchronizing Christmas decorative lights to various musical tunes. What everyone knows, however, that whenever there is a place where synchronized music and Christmas decorative lights are located, you are sure to find lots of crowds that are gathered to watch. In fact, it has been proven to be a sure eye-catcher that several businesses have started to utilize this kind of synchronized music and lighting display to draw crowds to their stores.

Setting up your very own synchronized music and Christmas decorative lighting display does not actually take much effort. All you need is a multi-channel MP3 controller and Expander board that are going to be interfaced with the PC on one end and the set of Christmas decorative lights on the other end. On simpler boards, you can attach up to five thousand Christmas decorative lights which is divided into several channels. These channels are in turn controlled by a software application on the PC to perform the effects that you wanted it to do and the length of time you wanted those effects to show.

Synchronized music and Christmas decorative lights display is a very fulfilling hobby that you would really enjoy indulging into. Once you finished setting up your synchronized Christmas decors, you will definitely earn the praises of your neighbors.

Suzie has been writing articles on interesting topics including relationships and family. Her new interests are in microwave ovens such as Emerson microwave oven and General Electric microwave oven.

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Fun Christmas Holiday Plans That You Might Consider Doing
By Joseph Pressley

The Christmas season is one of the holidays that most teenagers await. It is a short but very festive break away from school work, activities and projects. When this time of the year approaches, we would not miss to make our plans of making it even more enjoyable than last year. Either we spend it with the family, our friends or just by our self, as long as we will really feel the spirit of joy and love in this few days then we would have one enjoyable and fun experience for the holidays.

The bite of the cold and the freezing temperature outside our home is not a hindrance for us to stay locked up in our rooms. If you feel like being fired by a tazer X26, all tired and weak, then heat up and get hold of the outfit that will make you feel good in this type of weather. Through this, you will be able to pursue your plans for how many days and venture into something memorable this year.

Spend time with your family and do something enjoyable with them this Christmas holiday. It is a very nice experience if you would have the moments of your life with them and when you think about it in the future, you would smile and realize that you spent it with the most important people in the world.

If you do not feel like going out in the snow, then stay at home and try to have a quality bonding time with your family. You can just stay together in the living room by the fireplace while talking about things that happened to you this year and drinking a hot chocolate that you just made. Aside from that, you can have a marathon of your all time favorite movies and cuddle all together in your couches.

Moreover, when you already feel like facing the cold weather then go skiing or snowboarding in some resorts. Even in your own backyard, you can jump into the snow, form snow angels and even do snow ball fights. Find a sled and glide through the different snow slopes. Think of travel plans where you would go to places where you have never been before. Certainly, you can think of a lot of ways where you can really enjoy the season outside your home.

However, when you are away from your family and you are all alone in your place then come up with a plan to hold a party. You can do exchanging of unexpected gifts this year. You can give the coolest stun baton to a girlfriend. She would surely laugh at the thought of you giving it to her. But that would be a very good idea for gift-giving surprises for the season. Do not spend your Christmas all alone. Join parties and enjoy the night with your close friends.

Widen your imagination and do something new and enjoyable during your Christmas holiday. You can plan for something which will take away your mind and stress from school. Have a good time in your break and do it with people close to you to make it even unforgettable. End your year with fun experiences.

Joseph Pressley is a certified TASER instructor and the founder of BestStunGun.com which provides non-lethal self defense products such as stun guns, Taser and pepper sprays. Discover how stun guns and TASERs can save your life. Receive a free report on “Top 10 Self Defense Secrets Everyone Needs To Know”. Limited amount available. Visit us and get your own copy now http://www.beststungun.com

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